Dear October

You surprised me, that's for sure. In a month where I thought very little exciting or productive would occur, you sprang out of nowhere and gave me just what I needed; a push.

The leaves are still green and the weather is cold but not as biting as you might expect. Not like my studies. The essays bite harder than any frost; nipping at my heels like rabid dogs. But they have been surprisingly easy to remove. One I sat with for four hours, and what seemed like a hard subject to master slowly became more understandable, until the wild, savage dog became a sweet puppy. There are now only two left to tame.

You have shown me true colours. The people who you thought perhaps were friendly can stab you in the back at a moments notice. It hurts, obviously, but I need to learn to channel my inner Merida and maybe let Snow White take a back seat for a while. 

And of course, the phone call you brought. The one which told me I had a principle role in a musical production in Brighton next year. You have shown me that what you always wanted can come to you, the moment you stop needing it so desperately. 

I can only hope that November is the same, if not better for me. The thing I want most is strength. Emotional rather than physical. Strength to believe and strength to love myself, because I think that's one thing that October quietly forgot.

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