My mum has always said that 'guilt is a wasted emotion', and I definitely feel this. I am hugely guilty (ha!) of feeling guilty a lot. I feel guilty when I lose friends because I feel like it must be me. I feel guilty about being pescatarian instead of vegetarian, and then feel guilty about being vegetarian instead of vegan. And lately, the thing I've felt guilty about is my Instagram.
If you follow me on there, you'll know that my feed is my baby. I love creating whimsical, beautiful photos in amazing places to show the magic of every day travel and fashion. I've always been aware that my images aren't exactly 'relatable' and to be honest, they're not really meant to be. They're meant to be fantastical, an escape from reality and a highlight reel. It's something I create because I want to create something beautiful that I can look back on in years to come and remember all the amazing things I did.
But lately, I've felt guilty about my unrealistic feed. I've begun to notice numerous friends have muted my posts and InstaStories, and I can only imagine it's because my content now has begun to make them feel bad. I mean, I've never had a falling out with these friends. In my head, we were pretty close! But clearly something about what I'm posting no longer resonates with them.
I've been battling with myself over this recently. I've been wondering if I should start making my content less stylized and more casual. Should I appeal to those who just want to see a quick phone snap in front of a wall or a selfie rather than a fully planned photo which has cost me many hours of planning and research, only to make others feel bad about themselves?
But, I've decided recently I'm done with it. I'm done feeling guilty about my content. I make my content for me and because it makes me happy and gives me a creative outlet. I try my best on Stories and in captions to convey the reality behind all situations and shoots, so in some way I am trying my best to not give people unrealistic expectations. But if this fails, so what? I can only be the best version of myself possible and if people don't like it then there's nothing I can do. All I can do is try and be a good person.
So, I suppose all I can say to the friends who no longer want to support me, I'm sorry, but I understand why you have decided to leave. But I'm no longer going to feel bad about myself because of how other people view me or what I do. x
0 comments